(Original Post: December 2, 2023, Hawai’i, USA)
I still can’t find words to perfectly describe the experience from last week. Honestly, I don’t know where to begin.
Maybe I can start with –I didn’t want to become an astronaut, of any kind. You see, I had to eat my words. The universe kinda makes fun of you that way sometimes.
There were awkward silences during mealtimes of the crew, and at one of those moments, Kato, our commander asked me if I wanted to become an astronaut. I’m not sure why she asked. Maybe because I’m one of the quiet ones, maybe because I have a different background from the rest of them – one the Head of Advanced Strategy at NASA-JPL, the other one a PhD and a Professor of Computer Science, and then there’s the 19-year-old pilot, and an engineering student at Cornell. And then there’s me, the smallest crew member from the far east, from the Philippines with its space agency at its infancy.
When the commander asked me that question, I didn’t hesitate to tell her “No, I didn’t want to become an astronaut.” I told her that I used to correct people, even my mom, that I wanted to become an astronomer, not an astronaut. I dreamt of being isolated on top of Mauna Kea, inside the Keck observatory — the ultimate Hawaiian dream. More than a decade ago, the plan was sidetracked to another world, completely different from the dream of the 10-year-old Kristine. Fast forward to last week, the universe decided to bring me to Hawaii, inside a dome, a simulation of what it is like to live on Mars. From outside the dome, in my space suit, I could see the Keck observatory, high and mighty and quiet. I would look at it, marvel, and chuckle to myself at a joke that only I can understand.
So how did it happen? Certainly not magic, most of it probably luck. Hard work maybe? I just know it’s a big privilege for me. I couldn’t remove astronomy from my system. I was still active in the community years after I shifted my day world to Nutrition. Astronomy then became my literal night life. Almost 5 years ago, I got exposed to the space community. Space nutrition was just a term I was thinking of during under grad, but because of the space community, I met fellow nutritionists and enthusiasts who have the same interest (Hi Aria, Stavroula, Lena and Sahil!) Together, we ventured into space nutrition and space foods. We were investigators for different analog missions, Asclepios and ICEE. Then one day, some bizarre thought came up to me. What if I become a crew of a mission? What does it feel like to be on the other side? To be the guinea pig this time?
I saw a call for application for Lunares. I applied, got a call for interview, and got accepted. Unfortunately, I had to back out of the mission because of the schedule. But the commander of that mission and I kept in touch (Hi Matej). I would then become an investigator again for Lunares. I had totally accepted that I wouldn’t be able to go to a mission as a crew when I saw that ‘the’ HI-SEAS was calling for applicants. I sent out my application, didn’t expect anything, honestly. I couldn’t get into the HI-SEAS could I? The same habitat where astronauts, researchers from all over the globe had stayed, lived and called it home. There’re a few places on Earth that is similar to the surface of Mars, and HI-SEAS is one of them. Sitting on Mauna Loa at 8200 feet, the dome looks like an alien from afar. The only white structure you can see amongst the sea of black lava rocks, and red soil. It was surreal. I was excited and then I panicked. I was about to be in charge of the meals of the crew who are used to eating meals and food which are very different from what I know how to prepare and cook. Confined in a dome, one of the main highlights of the day was eating meals together with the whole crew. I put pressure onto my self. At that moment, it’s not just “will the crew like my pancit?”, it’s also “I think I’m about to bring something new to our country, maybe, hopefully.”
(This is getting quiet long, I’ll continue the story bit by bit, as much as I can)
